You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
