When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
