If that was your dad, he is hot
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
