i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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