tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
