She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
