The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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