she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
