Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
