btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
