just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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