brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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