remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
