The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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