She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
