My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
