just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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