i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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