sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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