BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
