Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
