when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
