Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
