You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
