no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
