Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
