those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
