I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
