what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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