how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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