Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Bring me that man meat
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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