Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
