Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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