so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize