I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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