I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
