Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
