She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
