I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
