I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
