the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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