would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
