Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
