Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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