uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Couch. On fire.
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