Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
