As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
