And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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