my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
