i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
my liver is dry heaving
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
