I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
