I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
