question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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