I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
