When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
