Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize